Co-Optimus readers: DjinniMan has been unavailable for a few days due to some unforeseen circumstances. In place of his usual article, we present the following transcript, which was sent to us anonymously. Thank you.
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"Welcome to my office, DjinniMan. Just lie down on the couch there, make yourself comfortable, and we'll talk for a little while. How does that sound?"
Ok. Thanks for seeing me on such short notice, Doc.
"So what's on your mind? You sounded quite upset on the phone."
It's a bit hard to explain really. It's been years ago when I first started playing rhythm games. Donkey Konga was my first, and then came the big one. Guitar Hero! I bought a PS2 just to play it! I'll never forget the first time I played More Than a Feeling without looking at the screen...
"Ahh is that the game with the toy guitar I see 12 year olds playing all the time at Best Buy? I've heard of that."
Yes, that's it. Anyway, I bought a second guitar, and then got GH2 the day it was released. 6 months after that, I bought 2 MORE guitars, and the same game, again, just to play on my Xbox 360! I should have known I had a problem then.
"You bought the same game, with two controllers, twice? You are an... Erm, tell me more."
Last year, GH3 came out, with a new shiny wireless guitar, and it was so hard to resist buying it. But I knew that Rock Band was coming out, with DRUMS, so I held off and just purchased the game. We got Rock Band and it was so, so good. We played it so much! And I still play it all the time, even so long after we beat the world tour. I must have downloaded dozens of songs for it, at $2 a pop... did I mention Rock Band came with a guitar, too? Now we have three guitar controllers!
"DjinniMan, let me be perfectly honest. I think you have an unhealthy obsession with toy instruments. Do you have any unusually vivid memories of rock stars from when you were a child?"
Not really, except for Sheena Easton. But I don't see what she has to do with anything, Doc! Let me tell you why I called in the first place. I just found out about the Stage Kit for Rock Band. I laughed when I heard about it, I mean come on! Strobe lights and a fog machine for a freakin' video game? How silly is that? But then I got to thinking about it, and it seemed less strange and somehow, so, so right. I'm on the fence a bit now, Doc. Do you think a normal person would want to have their own living room turn into a concert stage? I kind of think it'd be neat. And it's only a hundred bucks...
"DjinniMan, just stay on the couch and rest for a bit. I have to make a quick phone call. Just relax, and if you see any men show up with white coats and butterfly nets, remember, they are your friends, and they just want to help!"
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