It really is.
I turn to face my attacker and see another Saint has joined me. I’m assuming he’s a Saint, because he’s firing past me and taking care of the Morningstar stragglers, sending the smoldering wreckage of their bodies skyward in yet another rocket-born fireball. We both earn cash and respect as the ravaged shells of cars, men, and women crash down around us.
“Very nice!” I say in a thick Russian accent, clapping my hands in approval. My new comrade is decked out as a giant cat. Not a sexy cat. A mascot cat. He puts away his rocket launcher and gives me a little "raise the roof" action. I guess we’re friends now. We have no time to sit around and talk about how cool we are, fresh Morningstars are arriving by the truckload.
These trucks carry giant abominations of men: Olegs. They look like Mr. Incredible’s angry backwoods uncle. Lesser Morningstars are spilling out the the cabs as the behemoths heft their chain guns and pour lead into the fray. Not surprisingly, the police have decided to join in. A helicopter hovers overhead, an airborne sniper’s red laser sight finds me. Foolish. Now he has my undivided attention. Mascot Cat is thundering rockets into the Olegs as if he were a modern-day Furry version of Zeus. I empty a clip into the choppa, blowing it out of the sky. I turn my attention to a weakened monstrosity, and kill him brutally, up close and personal. Now I have a chain gun...
Like this, but with more cleavage.
By the time the dust settles most of the bodies and blood have faded into the ether. Reinforcements arrive. The Third Street Saints patrol the area. I look over my gang members. I have to be honest, it’s made up of scantily clad females and ninjas. By my design. I pick a ninja armed with a rocket launcher and order him to follow me. Then I make a quick call on my cell phone and a brand new, fully customized Peacekeeper is delivered directly to my location. Mascot Cat freezes in place briefly. After a few seconds, an attack helicopter descends from the sky. I guess we’re flying. Very nice, indeed.
* * *
That’s just a few minutes of Saints Row: The Third. I’m sure you’ve seen the videos by now. It’s over the top, crazy, and most of all, fun. And even more importantly: you can play the whole game with a friend. Start to finish.
There’s a storyline in SRTT, and it’s perfectly serviceable. The plot is simply a device used to initiate some set pieces that range from “push start to skip” to “very impressive." It adds humor to the game, and that’s all it really needs to do. At times you will be faced with game changing decisions. Each will offer a specific reward. I really didn’t care about the moral outcome, I simply chose whichever upgrade appeared to be the most fun.